Why am i feeling as such?

I have experince losing someone in life,like someone closest to died a year ago...and when to know this,i felt that if anyones hurt my feelings be it by betrayal or swearing,it seems like my heart is already pain and when they repaet it..why is it that the pain wasnt that pain like i was before?it seems i couldnt care less...but it is not i dont feel the pain...but the pain is like( i dont know how to describe....)is like u feel it already by losing somone..and you dont suprise this pain again when someone try to hurt your feelings?why i felt such way?is like i felt it...and now is like when they do it....i felt...but i let it go?