MY POEM: OPINIONS PLEASE?

I liked it a lot. It is very good. One thing you might want to consider changing is to count the syllables and maybe try to have a rythem to it. I counted up the syllables and most of them had 8. But all were between 5 and 15. You may want to change that or just leave it with sort of a mysterious flow to it. But anyways it sounded like somthing you would find in a book of famous love poems.